depression-part-1

Depression: Part 1 - Definition, Causes, and Patterns

In February 2022, the influential medical journal The Lancet published “Global Prevalence for Mental Disorders,” with worldwide data for 2019:

• 279,600,000 adults (279.6 million) with depressive disorders ( ~ 5.6%)

This is based on the 2019 total world population of 7.7 billion (Worldometer.info),

and the adult population at approximately 5.4 billion (using the typical rate of 70%).

These are cases documented by health professionals. Many, many more feel depressed and don't seek an official diagnosis. My guess is that at least 1 in every 10 people is struggling with some form of depression.

To further compare, Worldwide Cancer Research Fund International (wcrf.org) found that in 2022, 19,900,000 (19.9 million) people were diagnosed with cancer (all kinds) which is about 1 in 400 people.

At 1 in 10, clearly depression is a serious problem.

What Is Depression?

I was once in a room with people diagnosed with the same label—depression—and their descriptions were very different.

For some, depression was an overwhelming sadness, for others, a flat despondency. Some people felt agitated, while others felt sluggish. The list of diagnostic descriptions is complex—depressed mood, loss of interest, irritability, appetite disturbance, agitation, fatigue, worthlessness, emptiness, shame, guilt, poor concentration, indecisiveness, and thoughts of death or suicide.

I have come to the conclusion that "depression" is a label for a wide range of bad feelings that mainstream science, medicine, and psychology don't understand—so people with these very different feelings are tossed into one big pot.

Although everyone's depression is a unique experience, I see one central theme—powerlessness.

“I feel trapped”
“I'm stuck with no exit”
“Nothing I do will make a difference”

“There's no point in trying”
“There's nothing worth trying for.”

“It's pointless.”
“I give up”

If we apply the “official” symptoms from the paragraph above, we get this:

• agitated, irritable, indecisive (“I'm trapped, how do I get out?”)
• can't eat (“I want to give up”)
• eat too much (“I want relief”)
• worthlessness, shame, guilt (“If I'm stuck here it must be my fault”)

• sadness, emptiness (“I've tried but I don't get what I need”)
• flatness, loss of interest (“what's the point in trying”)
• sluggish, fatigued, poor concentration (“I've tried over and over and have no energy”)
• suicidal thoughts (“A final escape from the trap”)

Here's the situation:

• needs not met
• an effort to get needs met
• a failure to get needs met
• distraction from the suffering

• giving up

That's powerlessness. That's depression.

The Root Causes

If a person is truly in a powerless state, trapped in a prison or war zone, a depressive reaction makes sense. Most people with depression, however, are more trapped in a feeling than a situation they absolutely can't escape. Yes, relationships are hard, jobs are stifling, finances are suffocating, but usually some constructive action can be taken.

There is one other life situation we all experience that can be a real prison, a real trap—childhood. In childhood our parents are responsible for making sure our needs are met. If they don't do that, we are truly powerless, trapped with them and their dysfunction.

Consider these stories of childhood:

"My parents were always busy. I tried to be good at the things I did, but they never spent much time with me anyway."

"No matter how hard I tried, nothing was ever good enough for them."

"My dad used to beat us anytime, anywhere—without us knowing why."

"After Mom and Dad divorced we moved away with Mom. I had to leave my home and my friends, and no one ever asked what I wanted."

"Everything I did was too much. I couldn't get angry, get sad—even laugh too loud. I learned to shut everything down."

"Some of the teachers used to tell me I was a loser, and that I would never amount to anything. My dad used to say the same thing."

"When I was a teenager, my mother criticized the way I looked and the things that I wore. I would try to please her, but I could never figure out what she really wanted.”

"I was molested regularly by my grandfather who threatened me to never tell anyone. I couldn't say no, and I couldn't do anything about it. I learned how to mentally 'go away' and be numb to it all."

"My father has always been proud of the fact that he never picked us up when we cried. He said that I cried a lot at first, but after a while I became totally quiet."

"My mother told me that I was stuck in the birth canal for 20 hours, and that they had to give her anesthetic. When I was born, I was almost lifeless."

Stories like this are in the millions, and they all have one common theme— powerlessness.

Some say that powerlessness is the natural state of infants and children. I disagree. If a child is born to healthy, happy, and emotionally available parents, her every need is heard and responded to. She is considered important, and her natural sense of confidence and power is maintained. Her feelings matter and are part of all family decisions. When she is a little older, she can exert her influence, advocate for herself and take action to get what she likes and what she needs. She may not always get her way, but if she is not abused, neglected, and made to feel worthless, she will feel like she matters and can make a difference in her own life. She will not grow up to be depressed.

If however, a child is truly powerless in a family prison, the patterns of that entrapment will settle into place and continue right into adulthood.

The following are the direct results of the childhood stories listed above:

• The person with busy parents will continue to feel down and worthless even when others are friendly and complimentary.

• The person with constantly critical parents will achieve great things but never feel good enough.

• The person who was beaten randomly will be hyper-vigilant, exhausted, and despairing even in a private, secure location.

• The person of divorced parents will do whatever other people want and feel strangely sad and unfulfilled.

• The person with stifling, controlling parents will grow up emotionally flat and constrained, cautious of feelings and the opinions of others.

• The person ridiculed by teachers and parents will believe she's a no-good loser and never try interesting things and always give up when things are difficult—or even when success is possible.

• The girl whose looks and style were relentlessly criticized by her mother will grow up feeling worthless and stupid, puzzled by what others may want and hiding from social situations.

• The girl who was sexually abused will become an adult who feels disconnected from her body and others in general, unfulfilled and lost in dissociative fantasies.

• The boy who was never picked up as a crying infant will grow to be “the nice guy,” a lonely man who goes along with everyone else but doesn't know what he wants.

• The boy trapped in the birth canal will become an adult who feels “spaced out” and listless, unable to focus energy and get things done.

Patterns

When we toss a rock in a quiet pond, waves roll outward. This pattern of waves—a direct result of the impact—will roll on and on until it dies out or is interrupted by something else.

Childhood events and situations of abuse and neglect are impacts that also create wave patterns, and those patterns will carry on long into our adulthood. Beaten as a little puppy, a five-year-old rescue dog will still flinch—even when a gentle person tries to pet him. That's how patterns work.

All damaging formative events, whether traumas, negative conditioning or a lack of positive conditioning, create patterns. These patterns are biochemical and show up as behaviours. They are triggered by any situation that resembles the original “prison” whether it is truly dangerous or not. If a person from a critical family is given a genuine compliment, that attention—even when positive—will trigger a reaction that assumes the original negativity. The person will react in a guarded way, not believe the compliment, and even conclude it's a lie. The original pattern runs even in a positive environment, keeping the person in a depressive bubble of worthlessness.

Patterns, being patterns, will run on unless we interrupt them.

(continued in "Depression: Part 2 - Medications")